The Crush as Separate

Someone recently suggested to me that one thing that might be so compelling about crush is that it is, by definition, separate. Having crushed out feelings allows me to have all the positive feelings about someone – admiration, idealization, lust – without any fear of merging. I am clearly separate. (See post about yearning.) I can stay with my feelings without getting wrapped up in the other person’s feelings. Sure, I fantasize about their feelings. I try to imagine what they are thinking, what they are feeling, but that’s just it – I’m able to have all kinds of imaginings not really based on reality. As a matter of fact, it’s true that once the confession (in high school) occurred and their response was real – I tended to move along to the next. Hmm… is there something in that? Is that laying the groundwork for serial monogamy?